There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
