I cockslap morals
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
