It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
