she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Who died my cat blue again?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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