You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
two words: eviction party
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
