just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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