Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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