I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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