used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize