I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
