can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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