Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Why is there bacon in the couch?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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