he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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