Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He kissed a someone with a penis
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
