Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
the night ended with taco bell and tears
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
