Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
