She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
