some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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