You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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