Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
