I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
