So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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