Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Are we still banned from the library?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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