Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
