sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
