my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
