Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
