the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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