So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
