You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
