If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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