i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My ass is underappreciated
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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