Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
