Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
