If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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