Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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