Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
