Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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