I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
