Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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