At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
