well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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