john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
They have beer where we have blood.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize