There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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