oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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