What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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