while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
