The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
