if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
