If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
