omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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