So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
