That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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