Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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